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Time and time again I've found myself thinking, "Why am I like this?" Yes, the exhaustion, pain, loss, anxiety, and busyness were certainly real, but so were God, my family, my boyfriend, and so many other things I've prayed for. So when my word of the year for 2024 popped up as "Grateful", my reaction was one of, "ohhhh..... yeah. That makes sense." The attitude of pessimism needs to turn into an attitude of gratitude. The solution to pessimism, discontentment, impatience, annoyance, busyness, and so many other things, is gratitude. And the cool part? The word Eucharist means "Thanksgiving." Gratitude. Looking to Him is the solution to all of those things. Eucharist is just as much of my word of the year as grateful is, and I'm so excited to dive deeper into gratefulness and the mystery of the Eucharist. I'm looking to imitate Mamma Mary's worship in my own. In her beautiful Magnificat, part of what Mary sings is, " My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord, my spirit rejoices in God my savior, for He has looked with favor on His lowly servant. From this day all generations will call me blessed: the Almighty has done great things for me, and holy is His Name." Mamma's worship and glorification of God flow from a place of gratefulness. She knows that nothing that is happening to her is for anyone but God and His purpose for her life and the world. This overflow of beautiful gratitude occurs when she is carrying Jesus, the Eucharist, present in her womb, His Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity. The same Jesus we receive at each Mass. Gratitude shouldn't just be a fleeting thought; it should be a song sung constantly, rejoicing in the mystery of Christ in the Eucharist, present in me. Just as Mary's grateful song was born from the miracle within her, our own constant hymn of praise can begin at the altar. Following the example of St. Zita, who happens to be my saint of the year , we can bring a spirit of gratitude and worship into even the busiest days with quiet prayers of praise, turning every task, every challenge, into a whispered prayer of gratitude for the Eucharist we carry within us, just as Mary carried Jesus. Zita spent her entire life as a maid for a wealthy family, obtaining holiness through her attendance of daily Mass and her dedication to her daily tasks. She is the patroness of homemakers, maids, and bakers. She once famously said, "A servant is not holy if she is not busy." With my upcoming (last!!) semester coming up and looking like it will be much busier than the last, St. Zita gives me hope that through everything I'm cramming into each day, God will work in me and use everything He can to make me holy. I think of Zita, working long, hard days, sustained only by her constant internal song of praise to the Lord who'd she received just hours before. I hope you'll join me on this journey of gratefulness and worship as we enter 2024, and I encourage you to check out Jen Fulwiler's Word of the Year and Saint of the Year generators and discern where God is calling you to grow this year. May He bless you and your families as we begin this new year!

It can be difficult to find faith-based gifts that are unique, affordably priced, and suitable for teens and young adults. This list can help! The following items come from various websites and Etsy Shops and would make fantastic gifts for any Catholic teenager or young adult. Many of them are suitable for both men and women and may even get here by Christmas if you order soon :-) Please note that I am not partnered with any of these brands ( except the Hallow App! ) and am receiving no monetary compensation from this post. For the athlete: Shoe Lace Saints from TotusTuusTreasures -$9.99 Trust In the Lord Water Bottle - $21.99 Elite Athletic Gear Wristbands- $5-$20 For the nature-lover: Genesis 1:1 Hiker Sweatshirt from PacifiClothingandArt- $40.26 Faith Can Move Mountains Bible Cover from 28Collective- $50.00 Engraved Christian Knife from AnLGiftStore- $22-$27 For the gardner: Seed Paper Plantable Cross- PlantablesAndPaper- $12.00 Consider How the Wildflowers Grow Sticker- SavannahandJamesCo Personalized Christmas Garden Tools Bag 2D Ornament-VintageShopCloCrafts- $13.00 For the artist: “Our Creativity is an Outflow of His” Mug-LaurentCollective- $25 Sewing the Saints Embroidery Kit- JoFloDesigns33- $12 Catholic Christmas Paint Kit- DivineInspirationArt- $16.50 For the new driver: 4pc Protection Catholic Medal Keychain- AgnusDeiJewelry- $14.00 Eucharistic Revival Catholic Car Decal- littlewaydesignco- $8.49 Travel Visor Clip- MerryandGrace- $16.99 For the gym-goer: SoulCore Products Motivational Bible Verse Water Bottle- ShePraise- $15 The Original Deadlift Shirt- DiscipledApparel- $25  For the sticker-lover: 100 pcs Christian Faith Sticker Pack- DivineServicesCo- $6.95 Catholic Sticker Bundle- LoveNLightDesignCo- $10+ Sticker Paper (to make your own stickers!)- $6.18 For the Marian Devotee: StephenMaryRosaries- $15- Made and blessed by an young, amazing Franciscan priest! Marian Catholic Miraculous Medal Shirt- BurmaApparel- $23 For the musician: Saint Cecelia Prayer Card with Patron Saint Medal Christian Tee Music Note Shirt from BrightandBoldGifts- $20.04 Hallow App Subscription (good Catholic music!) For the homebody: Signed by the Saints Blanket from WorthyofAgape- $51.00 Chrism Aromatherapy Spray from EverythingCatholicUS- $13 The Catholic Card Game- $35 For the homemaker: Theology of Home from Tan Books- $34.95 Catholic in the Kitchen from Tan Books- $29.95 Vintage Sacred and Immaculate Heart Apron- The Catholic Cottage- $30 For the writer: God is still writing your story wood block decor- ThePICKED- $19.95 4 pack Lined Journal Notebooks- $22.99 Writer Stickers- $4.99 For the fashionista: Jewelry from The Little Catholic That One Sheep Shirt- varying prices Catholic T-Shirt Club- $30 For the student: The Great Adventure Catholic Bible- Ascension Press Saints Photo FIlm Strip- thestumpofjessee-$5.95 Mr. Pen Aesthetic Highlighters and Pens No Bleed- $9.99 For the Self-Care enthusiast:  Beauty Bath Box- Heralding Goods- $25 Jesus is the Balm Lip Balm from Blessed is She- $5 for 3 Hallow App Subscription For the history buff: Formed.Org Subscription (Catholic Streaming Service with lots of Documentaries) Christ the King Lord of History (Best history-related book EVER) Start a pilgrimage fundraising fund for them and help them fundraise to go on a mission trip or pilgrimage! For the pro-life activist: Unapologetically Pro-Life Shirt- FastCustomTees- $14 Pro-Life Sticker Blend- MeVidaloca- $17 Persuasive Pro-Life by Trent Horn

Happy Feast of St Nicholas! As a special gift to you today, I'd like you to have a freebie... The link below contains free, downloadable Christmas cards in various styles. All of them are printable and can be used as standard or e-cards. They'll be listed in the MercyLight Designs shop soon, but I wanted to give you early access. ✨Here is the link to download:✨ https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1gnqtiCkt6d5EIBHg1BbN2LXlJd8icMnk?usp=sharing Please let me know what you think and if you need any help! Instructions are included with the files. Have a blessed Advent! In His Mercy, Colleen

Sundays are my absolute favorite day of the week, especially during the semester. A domestic, holy quiet spills into the world from Christ's home within His Church- each of us who receives His Body and Blood. Sunday is a "reset," if you will. Mind, body, and soul are reset and restored by the presence of Christ. We've been given this day of rest to do just that- rest. Yes, life gets hectic and some weekends it feels like we just aren't able to squeeze in even one extra minute to sit down and relax, but it is so, so important to fit in a Sabbath rest at some point during your week. Make time to rest, recharge, and let the Lord press that "reset" button :-) How can we do this? I have a really hard time resting. To sit and do nothing makes me feel... not rested 😂 But resting and resetting doesn't necessarily mean simply doing nothing. Your Sabbath rest can be uniquely yours and you can rest in the way that the Lord has made you capable of. Here are a few ways to do that... Rest for your mind... Journal! Make extra time for prayer Reflect on the past week and write a summary of your thoughts, feelings, and activities Listen to praise and worship music Take a break from schoolwork for all or part of the day Spend time in silence Read a book you've been wanting to finish for a while Color in a coloring book Plan out your week in a planner or journal Plan and prep healthy and fulfilling meals for the week Watch a TV show or movie that you enjoy Spend time with friends and family- or don't! Whatever gives you more energy. Rest for your body... Give yourself permission to NOT push your body to its limits. Take a break from your exercise routine to let your body rest ... or exercise more if you don't already! Go for a walk Make and eat a yummy meal Make or buy yourself a fun warm drink Stretch! Take a nap Wear a cute outfit Go to bed early Or just wear sweatpants after church because they're comfy Lay in your bed and do nothing. Really. It's okay. Rest for your soul... Go to Mass (0bviously) Pray the Rosary with your family or by yourself Write in a prayer journal Find a parish that keeps the church unlocked and pray there for a while. Study the Bible Think about what you're thankful for Listen to Christian podcasts Go to confession or make an examination of conscience Read a spiritual book or learn about a Saint For example, today I began my morning with some prayer before doing some homework. Then I went to Mass, brunch with my friends, and then got coffee before making some sticker packs for a Respect Life Club fundraiser later this week. Then I played cards with one of my friends, and now I'm listening to music and writing this while dinner is cooking and I'm going to read and watch Gilmore Girls before I get ready for bed and have more prayer time. How do you enjoy making Sunday a day of rest? I'd love to hear your practices and ideas. Have a wonderful rest of your day! - Colleen

If you're on social media at all you've most likely heard of the concept of "romanticizing your life." Speaking broadly, this means to take delight and find beauty in everyday moments, making them more beautiful. This could mean simple things like lighting a candle in your room while you get ready for the day, making your notes for class colorful and pretty, or making an effort to have a routine that you enjoy and stick to, while listening to soft, beautiful music. What does the Church say about this practice? From what I can tell, romanticizing your life is a beautiful way to practice mindfulness and keep God at the center of your life. The Pontifical Council for Culture, in The Via Pulchritudinis: Pathway for Evangelization (2006), wrote, “The via pulchritudinis [‘way of beauty’] can open the pathway for the search for God.” When we see or experience something beautiful it makes us slow down in order to savor and appreciate it. Saint John Paul II wrote in his Letter to Artists, "Beauty is a key to the mystery and a call to transcendence. It is an invitation to savour life and to dream of the future." Think of a groom gazing at his bride as she walks down the aisle toward him on their wedding day. He is fully present in the moment, captivated by her beauty, while also dreaming of their future together as they make their way to Heaven. Now, while romanticizing one's life and everyday, mundane tasks certainly seems like a good thing for both one's mental and spiritual health, as with everything, there are downsides. It would be easy to get so caught up in creating beauty that we never stop to appreciate it, or the natural beauty that occurs in nature and in the human person. When this happens, it shifts the focus away from the beauty of God and improving one's mental health, and on to personal pleasure and enjoyment. And this, self-centered romanticization as opposed to romanticization centered on pleasing God and growing closer to Him, will never satisfy the deep longing in our hearts for beauty, goodness, truth, and love. Pope John Paul II continues, "That is why the beauty of created things can never fully satisfy. It stirs that hidden nostalgia for God which a lover of beauty like Saint Augustine could express in incomparable terms: ‘Late have I loved you, beauty so old and so new: late have I loved you!’” Considering that as Catholics, all we do should be centered on God, what are some ways that we can practice romanticizing our lives while keeping our minds and hearts focused on the Lord? Here are some ideas... Pray a morning offering as soon as your alarm goes off. Exercise each morning wearing cute, modest shorts and a t-shirt while praying a Rosary. Put on Praise and Worship music as you get dressed and make some coffee. Take time to eat breakfast, even if it's just a bowl of cereal, honoring your body as a Temple of the Holy Spirit. Pray using the Hallow App while you commute to school or work. Decorate your study or workspace with beautiful artwork. Listen to music while you study or work. Try to attend daily Mass or have designated prayer time at some point throughout the day. Smile! Smile to yourself. Smile at others. Just smile. It helps. Take a lunch break to eat a yummy meal or snack and then ACTUALLY STOP WORKING and take a walk, work on a craft project, or read a book. Put on comfy clothes after work or school and take time to do something you love or spend time with family. Take a walk in your neighborhood, taking a different route than usual. Make a corner of your room into a prayer corner by decorating it and having a comfy chair or other spot to sit. Keep a gratitude or prayer journal and write in it each day before bed or during your prayer time. Read Catholic literature. Light prayer candles around your home or these chrism scented Sacred Heart of Jesus Candles Celebrate feast days and Sundays with Liturgical living, decorating, dressing, and eating according to the celebrations in the Liturgical calendar. Dress in a classy and modest way each day for work and school. Visit and take pictures of beautiful churches or locations while you are on vacation or other trips Choose a verse, passage, or quote to pray with each week. Create an evening routine for prayer and relaxation. Commit to reading a spiritual book each month. Learn! Take a course in Theology, philosophy, history, or ethics. Keep Sundays as rest days where you limit doing homework or any other sort of labor or thought-intensive work. Participate in activities and ministries at a parish, local, or diocesan level. ... And many more! Try this week to implement even just one of these options and stick with it to see if you're beginning to notice the effects of additional beauty and intentionality in your life. Bringing small, beautiful moments into your life (AKA, romanticizing) is a journey, not a one-time event. It takes practice to find the extraordinary in the ordinary and infuse your life with the beauty and joy that are only found in pursuing God. Let's embrace the journey to Heaven by living a life infused with purpose and faith, finding Heaven every step of the way.

One of my priests at school presented our book study group with a life-changing thought this evening. It's something that I never truly thought about or stopped to consider, though it makes so much sense. Are you ready? Here we go. Heaven is wherever God is. You're probably thinking "Of course it is. I know that." That's what I thought, too. But let's think about it. If Heaven is where God is, then Heaven starts now. If Heaven is where God is, then Heaven is within you. If Heaven is within you, then where you are is where Heaven is. You know that verse about how your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit? The temple of the Holy Spirit is Heaven. Heaven is where God dwells. By the virtue of your Baptism, the Spirit of God dwells in you. When you have the Spirit of God in your Soul, you have Heaven within you. Furthermore, in the Lord's Prayer, we pray that God's will be done on earth as it is done in Heaven. In Heaven, there is no death. There is no sickness. There is no evil. There is no anxiety. There is no fear. When we are in Heaven we will not need to worry about any of these things. It also means that God wills for these things to be done on earth as well. It was not only the earliest Christians that were called to heal the sick and raise the dead. After all, just as they had Jesus in the flesh, so do we. Their Baptism and Confirmation are the same as our own. Finally, Just something for you to ponder tonight... how differently would we live our lives if we lived like Heaven was within and around us all the time? How would we treat those around us? Our bodies? Our mind? How would we pray? Work? Study? If we truly recognized that anywhere that God dwells is Heaven, how could we NOT become Saints?!

One of our Franciscan Priests at school, Father Jason, who also happens to be my favorite professor, (Extra credit, Father???😂) gave an excellent and inspiring homily this morning! This post is based on a few notes that I took from it and a fantastic analogy that he gave. It can be immensely difficult to forgive. Throughout our lives, we will be hurt many, many times by nearly everyone we love and who loves us, and even sometimes by people whom we don't know. We hear so often the phrase "forgive and forget." I don't think that's practical or necessary. We will always remember the times we've been hurt in major ways. There's no need to forget them, as long as we can forgive. Imagine you're standing behind the person who's hurt you. They have their back turned towards you. For a while, you might have your back turned to them as well. Anger, pride, fear, or a myriad of other feelings might keep your back turned to that other person. Forgiveness is when you turn around, and back towards them. You are willing to look at them and say, "I forgive you. I love you, because God loves you. I set you free from what you did to hurt me." And oftentimes this is simply done in the heart, though in certain situations it helps to say it aloud to the other person. Forgiveness sets the other person free and sets us free from hatred, pride, and resentment. Now, the other person might also turn around- or they might already be turned around, waiting for your forgiveness. Reconciliation is turning back towards them when they are and being in a position where you are able and open to embracing them once more, acknowledging their dignity and that they are no better or worse than you. Instead of viewing them as someone below you because they hurt you, you view them as an equal, a fellow sinner, whom Christ loves. Think about it... when you hug someone, your hearts are on the same level. Neither of you are above or below one another. You're equal in dignity- no one owes any other any sort of debt. All is forgiven. At the same time, we should not place ourselves below someone who has hurt us. Forgiveness does not mean that we become door mats to be walked all over and let people do whatever they'd like to us! Forgiveness restores equality. It's also important to consider situations of abuse. In these situations, we can forgive, and turn towards them, but we should never feel the need to go to them and put our full trust in their good intentions. Oftentimes abuse will occur over and over again if this is done. We can turn towards someone who has hurt us, recognizing their dignity because of their humanity, but still keep a boundary wall of safety up to avoid being hurt again. Forgiveness does not always take away distrust. Of course, there are situations in which someone will radically reconcile with their abuser or someone who has hurt them very badly- as Jesus forgave us, for instance- and that is absolutely incredible. Though that is something we can hope for, for physical, mental, and emotional safety purposes it is not always possible. I invite you today to think about who you can forgive. Maybe you're ready to forgive them. Maybe you're not. Whatever the case may be, just pray for them today. Pray for them, and pray that Jesus would help you to forgive them for what they've done to you and that He would forgive them as well.

This beautiful morning sunshine quickly turned into storm clouds in the afternoon, coming to a head precisely when Mass was about to begin! Though the rain passed us by, the thunder was rumbling on and off all through Mass. When we finished praying "Lord, I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof, but only say thy word and my soul shall be healed," the priest who was celebrating the Mass consumed the host, and right as he did so, the largest, longest, loudest rumble of thunder I think I've ever heard happened. It was such perfect timing- Heavenly timing. I smiled as I stood to walk forward to receive my Jesus, and was immediately reminded of the childhood tale that thunder just means that "The angels are going bowling in Heaven!" Maybe the angels today were just celebrating a little extra hard because they were so happy that we got to receive Jesus today... So hard that they made all of Heaven shake! 😊 What is our excitement for Jesus like? I know I personally sometimes find it hard to be excited about visiting Jesus in the chapel. I think I know exactly what to expect and honestly, every day is a struggle to stay awake (#chronicillnesslife), but Jesus never disappoints. His love is always enough (even if I can't even stay awake!) Our Lord is always waiting for us. He remains in the tabernacle, and though we see Him alone, He is accompanied by all the choirs of angels who sing His praises constantly and celebrate each time we walk in the door to visit our Jesus. And when we get to receive Him, Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity.... well, that's when the party starts! 😆 If you take one thing away from this little story, my friend, let it be that Jesus is waiting for you, and all of Heaven rejoices over you. ❤️ Love, Colleen

"Peace begins with a smile."- St.Mother Teresa One thing that's stuck with me the past couple of years is a teaching I heard about the "ministry of smiling." Your smile might turn someone's day around. Your smile might make someone think of their mom, sister, brother, or child whom they've lost. Your smile might give someone hope. Your smile might make people think, "How could he be so happy?!" Your smile might make them say, "Oh, she's a Christian and she's happy?! Maybe I could be, too." Your smile might be just the thing someone needs to know that everything will be okay. Your smile might be the first time someone has had contact from another person all day. Your smile might bring peace to someone's broken heart. Your smile might change a life. Your smile might save a life. So today, even when you don't feel like it, just smile. It takes so little effort. You don't even have to be happy in order to smile. You don't need to fake it. Just smile because the person you're looking at has dignity and is a beloved child of God ❤️😊

As Christians, we are called to be in the world, but not of the world (John 17:16). In many circles, this can make our beliefs seem outlandish or even foolish to some- and yes, it is so, so important to know what makes our behavior different from others and why it is so good that we behave in a way that is morally correct and pleasing to God! However, it seems to me that sometimes we don't think that our "in the world but not of the world" behavior applies even when we're around like-minded people. Take, for instance, the classic example of the church parking lot: it is not okay to go directly from receiving Christ in the Eucharist to gossiping in the rows of cars outside! We all know this. And maybe for young people, it isn't such a huge issue. But how about other scenarios? Youth group, for instance... Why are some people included in conversation, and others are cast aside? Why are new attendees avoided instead of welcomed with open arms? Why are people gossiping about others? Why are friends bringing drama into friendships? Why are friends pressuring other friends into relationships with other guys or girls in the group? Why are some people learning about and living out their faith on youth group nights, but not living it out the next day at school? Our being vigilant and ready to defend our beliefs and live our faith does not stop at the door of the church building. We are called to live our faith in all areas and all circumstances, no matter who we are with or what is going on. I encourage you, today, to take a look at your relationships and activities with your own church friends, or youth group, and see if your friendships, pastimes, and behaviors are honoring God and His commands. I have had to do this numerous times in the past and distance myself from people as a result. It's not enjoyable, and it's a major sacrifice to distance yourself from people who are not leading you to Christ, even when they are friends from your church community. The Church is not exempt from sin. We're all sinners, and looking to Christ and following Him is our calling in life. How can we transform our relationships with others in our Parish community so that we are all leading each other to Heaven? I pray that you have good, holy, Christ-centered relationships with your church family. It is truly such a great blessing to have friends that lead one another closer to Jesus! And if you don't have any of that type of friends yet... Be that friend to others, and know that there are thousands upon thousands of other Catholic teens out there who would be honored to be your friend! :-)

A Blessed Feast of St. Mary Magdalene to you! The following narrative is one that I composed a year or two ago for a school assignment. It is entirely fictional, though based on the information about the Ressurection contained in the Gospels, and I've used my creativity to come up with the details. Mary is the subject of a great amount of speculation, and so for the sake of simplicity, I've based her character only on Biblical descriptions. Enjoy! How It Began- A short story from the perspective of Mary Magdalene Saturday Evening “What do we do now, Peter? We can’t intrude on these poor people’s lives forever!” “I know, Mary. But it’s safer this way for now. We don’t know what’s going on out there.” “Fine.” He turned and walked away, apparently satisfied by my response. “That’s all he’ll get.” I thought. I walked back to the corner of the room where Joanna, Salome, and Mary, James’ mother, were sitting. “It’s no use. He won’t make a decision.” I sighed as I slumped down against the rocky wall behind us. We’d been hiding in the upper room since Jesus died on Friday. The child in the family downstairs had been healed by Christ on Wednesday, and the family had been kind enough to let us stay in their attic for a while so we could be together while we grieved and figured out what to do next. But we had to do something. We couldn’t hide forever. “Pray for them, Mary.” Joanna said softly, always the rational, supportive one of the bunch. “They have a big decision to make.” “Yeah. I know. But we must do something. We can’t just sit here aimlessly.” I glanced around at the other people in the room. Peter and James sat in the opposite corner, discussing what to do next. John sat with Mary in the other corner by the fire that Matthew had built, holding her hand while she cried softly. The rest of the men sat in groups throughout the room, talking in hushed voices. Andrew had already laid his cloak on the floor and was ready to sleep after a long day of doing, well, nothing. “Let’s go to the tomb in the morning and take the spices with us. You’re absolutely right, Mary, we must do something.” Salome said after a moment. “Yes. That’s something we can hopefully do without making too much of a disturbance. I still can’t believe they actually killed Him. He said they would, but I just can’t believe it." A while later the four of us removed our cloaks and laid down on them on the floor as we’d done the night before. John stood up from the corner of the room where he was with Mary. He brought her over to us and gave her his cloak to lay on, as hers was soaked with tears. “Goodnight, Imma!” John said, kissing her on the cheek. I think it’s so sweet how he already calls her Imma. (Imma means mamma in Hebrew). Since we started to follow Jesus, his sweet mother became ours as well, and we've all taken to calling her our own. She's the strongest woman I've ever encountered. As the room slowly became quieter except for Andrew’s quiet snores, I felt tears dripping down my cheeks. This happened sometimes. I became numb with pain, not even letting myself feel it until late at night when I was sure no one else would know. When I was young and my parents still allowed me into their home, I had to keep my feelings inside of me. My father was a cruel man. When he tossed me out, leaving me to fend for myself once evil took over, I had no one to talk to in my clear moments. I kept all of my emotions bottled up inside, like a grape, overripened and needing to burst forth. Once Jesus healed me I became a new person. I was so emotional for a long time, overwhelmed by the love with which He had treated me. But then He was gone. And I felt like I needed to be strong for everyone else, so I only allowed myself to feel the pain late at night or when I knew they couldn't see. This was no exception. The first person in this world to treat me with dignity had died. I had to grieve but didn’t quite know how. Even now, five years later, living out in the desert, alone, I still need to mourn what happened even though I know how the story ends- or shall I say, begins? Sunday Morning It was so early that the sun had only just begun to lighten the room. Only the four of us were awake. Joanna began gathering the spices that she’d hidden in the folds of her cloak after we left the tomb on Friday. As quietly as we could, only stopping to tell Peter where we were going, (at which he looked me straight in the eyes and said “be careful.” Before rolling over to go back to sleep.) we slipped down the stairs from the room, pulling our veils closer to our faces as we stepped onto the road. The sun dawned in the sky, more beautiful than I’d ever seen it before. About two miles later, as we climbed the hill leading to the garden where the tomb was, I ran up ahead of the other women. They are older and slower than I, and Joanna, though younger, stayed by their side. I was only twenty at the time. I crested the hill, seemingly walking into the sunrise. At the bottom was the garden where the tomb was in which they’d buried Jesus. The tears began to fall, and for once, I allowed them to. I shivered as I crossed the threshold into the garden. As I turned the corner to enter the gate where the tomb was, I stopped in my tracks. The stone had been rolled back. I peered inside. Nothing. I sank to my knees, sobbing. “All of that and now they’ve stolen His body. How could anyone be so cruel?” I heard footsteps behind me. Thinking it was the other women, I did not turn around. A man’s voice came from behind me. He must’ve been standing about five feet away. “Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you looking for?” “They have taken my Lord, and I don’t know where they laid Him.” I gasped out between sobs. “He must be the gardener.” I thought. “Maybe he knows what happened.” “Sir, if you carried him away, tell me where you laid him, and I will take Him.” “Mary!” The man’s voice changed as he spoke my name with the utmost tenderness. My heart stopped. It was the voice of my Lord. “Rabbouni!” I cried out, turning and throwing myself at His feet. His face was radiant with love as it had been, no longer bloodied and bruised as it had been when we'd buried him. He leaned down and embraced me, allowing me to cry in his arms. After a moment He stood, drawing me up along with Him. He looked directly into my eyes and said with a small smile, “Mary, stop holding on to me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father. But go to my brothers and tell them, ‘ I am going to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.” “Yes, Rabbi! I said, tears filling my eyes yet again, “I will go!” I turned and ran to the gate, glancing behind me as I did. The other women were just arriving. “He’s there! He was right! He said He would rise, and He has!” I cried out through my tears, now of joy. I ran back to the upper room and told Peter and John what I’d seen. They didn’t seem to believe me. I could still sometimes tell that Peter still saw me as that crazy girl who’d been possessed and then healed by the Messiah. Jesus became my life. My everything. And on top of that, I am a woman. Who would listen to me? Nevertheless, the men ran off to the tomb, doubting my testimony but yet with a spark of hope in their hearts. 11 a.m. Sunday When the other women returned, they gathered around me, their tongues alight with happy speech and giggles of disbelief for the first time in a while. “An angel was there! And oh, Mary, it was unlike anything I’ve ever seen!” “He said that Jesus is risen and to come and tell Peter!” I relayed to the rest of the men all that had happened. They also were skeptical of what we had seen. Just then we heard the thunder of footsteps as Peter and John raced up the stairs. “Well, Mary," Peter said as they burst into the room, “There were no angels or visions or anything of the sort, but something strange is happening. The stone is rolled away, as you said, and the burial cloth was folded neatly. Not something robbers would do.” John said softly, “The Jews will think we stole His body and staged this to cause trouble. We must hide. The family downstairs says we may stay as long as necessary.” He locked the door behind him as he said this. The men began to murmur among themselves, only adding to their worry as they discussed possibilities of what may have happened. We women sat in the corner further discussing what we had seen. We all knew in our hearts that it was true and were not afraid. Jesus was alive! He would certainly do something to let us know what to do next. Later in the afternoon, Jesus’ mother remarked, “He said this would happen, did He not? If they only believe they will be at peace.” 6 p.m. Sunday Thomas had gone out to beg for some bread in the marketplace, spreading ashes over his face from our fire to make himself seem dirty like a beggar. The men continued to worry while we waited for him to come back with whatever morsels he could find. They were so afraid of what might happen to them. They looked at us as if we were crazy when we laughed, and once, we even began singing as Joanna tried to recall the song the angels had sung as they'd praised God! As the men talked among themselves, and John sat with Mary, there was suddenly a flash of light. We all sat up straight, startled. “Peace be with you.” A voice came from the far corner of the room where the family’s old table and chairs sat. We all turned and looked. “Jesus” voices breathed from all around the room. The room filled with light and laughter as everyone tried to comprehend what they were seeing. Peter began to sob uncontrollably. Mary ran to her son. He embraced her and sat her down on one of the chairs, smiling and chuckling as he did, filled with joy as usual. He wordlessly displayed his hands and feet with the nail marks in them. When they’d taken Him down from the cross we had not had time to clean His wounds before the sun went down and the Sabbath began, so He had been dirty and bloodied. Now all that remained were the holes in his flesh where the nails had been and the wound in His side where he had been pierced. He walked to each of us, embracing us one by one and saying, “Receive the Holy Spirit.” before He moved to the next person. Everyone gathered was either crying or laughing uncontrollably by the time Jesus got to each of us. I'll never forget the feeling of his embrace, and the otherwordly peace that came with it. When he got to me, he grasped my small hands in his pierced, strong ones, and looked directly into my eyes, smiling. I knelt at his feet and kissed the wounds in his palms before he moved on to greet Joanna who was next to me. The whole time he smiled softly- it seemed he had missed us as much as we had missed him. He then turned to the men and, looking Peter directly in the eyes, said, “Whose sins you forgive are forgiven. Whose sins you retain are retained.” Jesus remained with us a while longer, about half of an hour, before He disappeared out the door. We peered out the window to see which direction He went, but we did not even see Him leave the house. I was overjoyed. I did not even try to comprehend what had happened. All that mattered was that He was alive. The Messiah, the man whom our people waited for thousands of years, had been killed. But now He was alive. Thomas returned to the room with a small amount of food, startled by all we told him had occurred and refused to believe, saying, “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands and put my finger into the nail marks and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.” He became annoyed with all of our babbling and tears of joy and retired to his cloak on the floor hours earlier than the rest of us. About a week later, Jesus appeared to us all and Thomas came to believe, but that is a story for another time. As I lay on my cloak that night, too excited to sleep, I realized that what happened to Jesus had happened to me, too. I was dead. Broken, lost, abandoned, and then He raised me up. He pulled me out of the darkness into the light and life of His love. To this day, five years later, I continue to receive notes from Peter telling stories of how Jesus, even from Heaven, continues to raise people out of the darkness of this world and into the light of His Truth, though He ascended to His Father. The Holy Spirit that Jesus gave to us that night is alive and working. Though the community is still small, it is growing, and I am confident that someday all will know what occurred on that glorious morning and come to believe and find new life in Christ as I, and so many others, have.

I was not always in love. The Bread of Angels had not yet caught my attention. But slowly, through the trials of life, I turned to Him. I was enamored by His presence. He broke through my walls. And I fell in love. The living bread became one with me, the center of my heart. I became saddened at the thought of leaving Him alone, with no one with Him in the darkness of the night; overjoyed at the thought that someday, maybe, these Houses of God will be full at all hours of the day, simply full of His people adoring His most Sacred Heart, present in the Tabernacle. He captured me. And though I turn away. Though I say that I am too busy. Too distracted. Not good enough. He waits for me. He waits for you. The Bread of Angels, the King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Jesus Christ, present in the most Holy Eucharist waits for you. He wants you to come to Him, to become one with Him. Our precious Jesus waits for you because He is in love with you. Today, when you go to Mass and are there before Jesus in the most Holy Eucharist, remember who it is that you become one with. Think of how He waits for you all hours of the day. Think of the rejoicing in His heart when you come into His presence, and then recieve Him with all the love and devotion in your soul, recognizing that the Bread from Heaven is truly the Son of God. <3